The funeral or memorial speech is an integral part of most funeral and memorial services. Funeral speeches include formal eulogies or tributes as well as informal reflections, remembrances and comments. Funerals, Home goings and Celebration of Life services include a mix of these funeral speeches to ensure that all close family and friends are given a chance to reflect on their relationship with the deceased, and offer comfort to mourners. It is considered an honour to be asked to deliver a funeral speech.
| How to write a Eulogy | Sample Eulogy |
There are several types of funeral speeches.
· Eulogies -- This is the most common funeral speech. A eulogy is usually the main speech that praises and offers testimonial to the deceased's life. Eulogies typically are from 5 - 15 minutes.
· Tributes -- Sometime tributes are interchangeable with eulogies. Often, tributes are usual shorter and slightly more informal than a eulogy and are given in addition the formal eulogy. Tributes gives other close friends and relative a chance to reflect on relationship with the deceased. May include very personal memories or funny stories about the deceased.
· Reflections / Remembrances / Informal Comments. -- Can be co-workers, close friends, usually relationships other than family members. Usually limited to 2 minutes.
Here are a few tips for composing a funeral speech. 
· Take time to prepare -- Whether you are just giving informal comments or a formal eulogy, you want to take time to prepare what you plan to say.
· Write down specific memories, or qualities of the deceased that you may want to share. See our articles on "how to write a eulogy" and our eulogy writing checklist. Also check out our collection of sample eulogies.
· Print your speech, or use note cards so that you can refer to it if you forget what you are going to say. Use a large font for so that it's easy to read.
· Try to speak in a natural and conversational tone.
· Practice your speech
· Be mindful of the length of your speech. If asked to give eulogy funeral speech -- try to keep it between 5 - 15 minutes. If asked to give reflections or just "say a few words" try to limit to 2 minutes, as there are often several other people who may have been asked to speak
If composing original tribute is too difficult, you may choose to recite a poem, favorite passage or scriptureHow to Write a Eulogy Speech
Once the transition of death occurs, it may fall on us as the lover, spouse, child, or friend, to compose the Eulogy. The Eulogy is the “sending off” message, the “funeral praise," or the “oral memorial” given in honour of someone who has died. The Eulogy may also be in written form, and can be included in funeral programs and memorial keepsakes. Being asked to undertake this task is a great honor and symbolizes the trust and love the family members have for you, the Eulogist. It can also be a difficult experience to be asked to give an eulogy as you are recalling memories that are personal and deep to your heart.
* Somber to Humorous 
* Brief to Lengthy
* Deeply personal to generalized and discrete
It may be helpful to check with the deceased's family to ask what the general "tone" and format of the service will be. You may also give a brief and general overview of what you plan to say in your eulogy to family or clergy.
The Eulogy can contain a chronicle of the deceased life history, shared memories between family and friends, a reflection of the deceased person’s legacies, personal achievements. It may also include details about family, friends, career, and hobbies. Eulogies can also be incorporate into written materials, such as funeral programs and memory scrapbooks.
Just as no two people are exactly the same; neither do any two eulogies perfectly echo one another. Their content and delivery vary widely based on factors such as nationality, culture, religion, values, personality and traits of those involved.
4-Step Guideline for Writing a Eulogy
As the Eulogist, you may feel a variety of emotions about the process. The following guidelines may be of assistance in this time of sorrow.
Step 1 - Speak from the heart, speak lovingly, and speak honestly. Be assured that no matter how you may feel about the words you choose, you have done well. To eulogize a loved one is no easy matter, and you undoubtedly will do a fine job.
Step 2 - There is a tendency among the living to automatically confer a near-saintly status on the deceased. While we certainly should not dwell solely on the negative aspects of our loved one’s life, neither should we avoid making mention of any interesting personality quirks or even significant shortcomings of the recently deceased. The funeral and memorial processes are not only rituals designed to send the departed away; they also are a part of the grieving process for the family members and friends. Remembering the full person – the good as well as the not-so-good – allows us to place him or her in that special place we reserve for the Dearly Departed in our hearts and minds.
Step 3 - Consider beginning the process of composing a eulogy before your loved one passes. You will have some idea of what to say when the time finally comes, ideas which may assist you in making the most of your words and energy. In cases of impending death, such as terminal illness, speaking with the person whose death is imminent may truly be a positive act for the both of you. Perhaps he or she has wishes for the memorial process that would otherwise go unheeded.
Step 4 - Do not be afraid to ask for help. This is a difficult time. Going it alone in difficult and sorrowful situations may prove to be far more stressful on your emotional well-being than necessary. Sharing the burden of composing a Eulogy may go a long way to reducing the heavy burden you bear.
What can I say about my Mom? For those of you that knew my mom, she was not only the life of the party but often the reason for the party. She use to always say to us “Don’t be so serious, life is too short, just have fun”.
In her late 30’s, Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. As some of you may know, Parkinson’s disease affects the brain and muscular control of the person that has the disease. I remember when Mom was diagnosed over 15 years ago, she was firm, gentle, hopeful, yet well aware of the way her life was changing. There is no cure for Parkinson’s disease, and over the years that followed her diagnosis, I admired her spirit and the way she woke up each day, drove us kids to school, and was standing at the door smiling when we got home from school.
Over the last few years, we all saw how her health deteriorate. Her spirit of fun, and zest for life was always present. She insisted on being present at all family functions whether it was a graduation ceremony, a friends’ wedding, Christmas, or just a regular Saturday family gathering.
On our last night with our mom, we spent the whole night praying with her. She was always a spiritual person, and I know it was her faith that helped her through those last few months. When I left my mom that night, she called my name as I walked out the door. When I turned around, she just smiled, and I know she had made and found her peace with Life.
As I was cleaning out her house, I found this poem in her nightstand. I wanted to share it with you all.
Poem of Life
Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
to sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We all were meant to learn some things,
but never meant to stay...
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know.
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
And when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the Lord.
Author unknown
I think this poem gives us an inside look into how our mom viewed the world both in life and death. It has provided our family with great comfort. I know that as we all gather today, our Mom is with us. She would not have missed the Party.
Sample Eulogy - Father
Losing my Father is one of the most difficult things I have gone through. As I am standing up here today, I realize how fortunate I was to have him as my Father. There are not words to express his influence in my life. It is through his example that I learned to be the father and husband that I am today.
My father was hardworking, strong, loving, and gentle. He loved his family and was deeply devoted to my mother and three siblings. However, he was no Saint by any means or stretch of the imagination. As a child, I always looked forward to his childhood friends, “Uncle Mike” and “Uncle Dennis” coming over to the house. They would reminisce and tell stories about their youth, and every once in a while, usually after they had had a few beers, they would forget I was in the room, and start to tell the un-edited versions of their stories. I would always learn some new information about my Dad, and his wild side from when he was younger.
I remember one time I asked my mother, “Why does Daddy work so much”? She looked at me and said, “Honey, every one’s Daddy works a lot”. I didn’t realize it then, but that was one of the biggest lessons I learned from my Dad - the value of hard work. He woke up everyday, put on his shoes, and went to work to provide for our family. I could count on one hand how times my dad was sick. Even if he didn’t feel good, he would get up and go to work – of course after a little “babying” from my mother. He truly believed that if you worked hard, treated people right, and with a little luck from God, you could have a good Life.
Although my Dad may never have said it out loud I know that he was truly proud of his children and the way we all have grown up. When we would all get together on the holidays, he would sit in the big old red soft recliner in our living room with his chest all puffed out. His Grand kids would scurry around the room, and everyone would want their chance to sit on Grandpa’s lap. They would all scream when he would get up out of the chair, growl like a bear with his arms above his head and chase them around the room.
He showed strength and love right up until his last days with us. I hope that one day, when I die, my children can look back, tell funny stories about me, and talk about how I loved them and their mother. Then, like my father, I will have led a complete life.
Sample Eulogy -- Grandmother
The beauty shop, brunch, church, fashion, elegance, patience, and family….these are all words that make me think of my Grandmother. She was a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, and a friend. She was a walking piece of history – she grew up during the Great Depression, fell in love and was married to a soldier during WWII. She raised her children during the civil rights movement, and Vietnam War Era. She lived life to the fullest! Her thirst for adventure and love of different cultures led her to travel all over the world. She walked across the Great Wall of China, crossed the English Channel, went to the top of the Eiffel tower, been to Mass at the Vatican in Rome, and traveled to 25 of the 50 states! She was traditional, modern, calm, passionate, social, yet enjoyed her alone time.
She lived in London, England her whole life and was married to my Grandpa for over 50 years. After he died, 3 years ago, a piece of my Grandma died as well. She still did her usual trips to the beauty shop, brunch after church with her friends on Sunday, and family gatherings. She had two children with my Grandfather, a son and a daughter. I always loved hearing stories of their trips to the beach growing up, and I especially enjoyed the mischievous stories about my Uncle and Mother.
I think one of the things I enjoyed most about my Grandmother was knowing her as an adult. In my late teens, I had a tendency to think she was old-fashioned, and “what would she know”. It was not until my early 20’s when I began to actually open up and share pieces of my life, that I realized, she “knew a whole lot”. The woman that I saw as old fashioned and out of touch, was just the opposite. She had a lifetime of experience with men, relationships, friends, family, and work. I asked her one time how she knew so much, and she said “at my age, I’ve seen everything at least once”. She said, “after a while, people just start to fit into categories. I would say it was one of her greatest strengths, within a few hours of meeting someone and observing them, she could hit on their strengths and weaknesses.
She lived a full life, complete with laughter and sorrow. As we gather today, although we will miss her physical presence in our lives, let’s not just grieve, but also celebrate her life as it was fully lived. As we talk and visit, let’s share our memories, as her Spirit continues to live in all of us.